Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
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I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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