so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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