I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize