no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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