Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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