OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize