so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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