I got chris browned last night
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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