We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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