So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
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Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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