i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize