i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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