and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize