It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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