bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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