The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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