we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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