God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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