My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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