im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize