You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize