he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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