I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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