then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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