Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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