Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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