it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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