too bad you live with your parents still
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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