Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm passing your future prison.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize