Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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