He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize