So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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