Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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