Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize