At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
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Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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