My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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