So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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