Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize