nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize