3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize