What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize