Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize