He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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