she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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