Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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