I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize