I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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