and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize