We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
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I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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