If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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